“How Gaslighting Is Used Against Biblical Polygyny”

In today’s cultural climate, biblical polygyny—a practice supported by Scripture—often becomes a lightning rod for controversy. When a husband introduces the topic of biblical polygyny within the context

of a Yah-honoring marriage, he may unexpectedly encounter a subtle yet potent form of manipulation: gaslighting. This tactic, used to distort perception and undermine convictions, is a tool in the arsenal of those who oppose the practice. In this post, we’ll explore what gaslighting is, how it’s employed against biblical polygyny, and what Scripture teaches about truth, manipulation, and relational integrity.

Defining Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic designed to make someone doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity. According to common definitions, it involves shaming, guilt tripping, verbal threats, ultimatums, and wordplay—all aimed at changing the target’s beliefs or actions. When applied to biblical polygyny, the goal is to make a husband question his convictions, casting his desire to follow Scripture as a betrayal of his spouse’s emotional well-being.

Biblical Truth vs. Manipulative Lies

While the term “gaslighting” does not appear in Scripture, the Bible is clear about the importance of truth and honesty. It warns against deception and falsehood while calling believers to build one another up in love. Consider the following verses:

John 8:32"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

This promise reminds us that no matter how skillful manipulations may be, the liberating power of Yahweh’s truth stands as an unassailable foundation. When confronted with gaslighting, a believer’s commitment to biblical truth becomes an anchor in turbulent emotional waters.

Proverbs 12:22"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truly are His delight."

This verse is a powerful reminder that deception is detestable to Yah. Gaslighting, at its core, is a form of deceit that contradicts the very nature of godly living. For those who uphold biblical principles—even in the controversial area of polygyny—remaining anchored in truth is essential.

The Tactics of Gaslighting Against Biblical Polygyny

When a husband raises the topic of biblical polygyny, the response from some wives (or those influencing them) may include several gaslighting tactics:

1. Denying His Honor

A common tactic is for the woman to twist his intentions, portraying him as a lustful man who seeks more for selfish reasons rather than as someone pursuing a biblical calling. This tactic is aimed at invalidating his honor and commitment to Yah’s commandments. By painting him in a negative light, she seeks to erode his confidence and create internal conflict about his convictions.

2. Exploiting Insecurities

Gaslighters often target personal insecurities. A woman may claim that his interest in biblical polygyny shows a lack of love or commitment to her, suggesting that he is “overreacting” or being insensitive. This not only undermines his sense of self but also clouds his judgment, leading him to question the validity of his scriptural understanding.

3. Poisoning Relationships

Another insidious strategy involves isolating the husband from supportive voices. By undermining his relationships with family and friends—those who might offer biblical perspective or encouragement—she increases his vulnerability to her manipulation. Without a network to affirm his values, his confidence in following Yah’s Word may falter.

4. Blaming Him for Her Sins

In some cases, a woman may project her own failures or misdeeds onto her husband. By accusing him of shortcomings he did not commit, she diverts attention from her behavior and attempts to hold him responsible for her emotional state. This can lead him to internalize guilt and doubt, further shaking his resolve to adhere to what he believes is Yah’s design.

Scripture Supporting a Stand for Truth and Integrity

While these gaslighting tactics are deeply manipulative, Scripture provides guidance for those who experience such abuse—whether in the context of biblical polygyny or other areas of life. A few key passages include:

Romans 12:2"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

This verse calls believers to reject the patterns of worldly manipulation and instead renew their minds through Yah’s truth. In doing so, one can resist the subtle deceptions of gaslighting and remain steadfast in biblical convictions.

Galatians 1:10"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If indeed I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

When gaslighting tactics aim to draw a believer into seeking human approval, this passage reminds us to keep our eyes fixed on Yah’s will. True service to Messiah means upholding His Word, even in the face of emotional manipulation.

Philippians 4:8"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

This verse encourages believers to focus on what is virtuous and true, countering the negative impact of gaslighting by anchoring the mind in Yah’s righteousness and wisdom.

The Broader Impact: Challenging Cultural and Theological Norms

Beyond individual relationships, gaslighting is also used to enforce certain cultural and theological narratives. Many preachers and leaders, intentionally or otherwise, pander to emotional manipulation by promoting a strict monogamous doctrine. This can result in false teachings that frame the biblical husband's adherence to polygyny as inherently flawed or unloving. Furthermore, the women’s empowerment movement, when intertwined with feminism, sometimes fosters a mindset where emotional manipulation becomes normalized. Such influences can distort one’s understanding of biblical authority and lead to spiritual unfaithfulness, where a wife may seek validation from outside the marriage rather than growing together with her husband in silence and mutual respect, as advised by Scripture.

Conclusion

Gaslighting, as a tactic, seeks to control, distort reality, and ultimately undermine the truth. In the context of biblical polygyny, it is used to challenge a husband's conviction and manipulate the relationship dynamics, often through shaming, isolating, and guilt-tripping. However, Scripture provides clear guidance for those who face such manipulation. By anchoring ourselves in Yah’s Word—remembering that truth will set us free, that lies are abominations before Him, and that we are called to transform our minds—we can resist the negative effects of gaslighting.

Believers are encouraged to foster relationships grounded in mutual respect, truth, and the love of Messiah. While a husband may have a biblical conviction for polygyny, his commitment to Yah’s truth should remain unshaken by manipulative tactics. Ultimately, the call is to honor Yahweh above all and to build relationships that reflect His truth and righteousness, free from the distortions of gaslighting.

In a world full of emotional and psychological warfare, let us stand firm in the liberating truth of Scripture, affirming that Yah’s Word is our guiding light and shield in every battle.

Now if you haven’t had the chance to see the livestream we did on this topic,

click here.

Shalom and Many Blessings!

Mike Allen